


How Would You Feel?

by gaycheldare



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Femslash, I might add another chapter in reynas pov another time, as all things I do end up being, it turned into lesbian angst, its also very unedited and rushed I'm so sorry but it was haunting me and I wanted it Done, the rest is build up, there's fluff at the end I suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 13:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11738316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaycheldare/pseuds/gaycheldare
Summary: For as long as Rachel could remember her and Reyna had been best friends and completely inseparable. They’d always told each other everything, and she had been there for all of Rachel’s good memories and comforted her through her bad ones. And yet, Rachel had started to doubt their friendship when they were first thrown into high school three years ago. After all, they had different interests. Reyna immediately became the star of the track team, but Rachel felt more at home with the art club. Gradually, they drifted apart.A few months into their senior year, circumstances bring them back together again. Rachel realises that maybe she needs Reyna more than she thinks, and maybe her feelings for her have grown to be a bit more than just friends.





	How Would You Feel?

**Author's Note:**

> This is so rushed and I meant to finish it ages ago, sorry for the long wait. Anyway this is my (rushed and unedited and basically total garbage) contribution to the femslash minibang which ended like three months ago.

> _“How would you feel, if I told you I loved you?”_

* * *

 

Snow had always been one of Rachel’s favourite things to watch when it fell at night. She was fascinated by the way the snowflakes would fall in slightly different directions to each other, and she loved that once they hit the ground they all looked the same, even though each one was unique. She always ran to the window and would stare, hypnotised, until it died down.

* * *

 

When she turned ten, she realised that the girl across the road liked snow as well.

She had been staring out of the window since the blizzard had started about an hour ago. Her mum had made sure her wide window sill had a cushion and a blanket ready for her, and she had brought her some hot chocolate in her favourite mug (with a picture of their pet hamster on), knowing it would be useless to try and tear her away.

While she was looking out of her bedroom window she could see most of the other houses in the street.

When she looked at the house opposite her she saw that only one window was lit up. There she saw a girl staring out exactly like she was. She could only really make out her silhouette against the light, but she looked about Rachel’s age. Rachel wondered why she had never seen her before.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when her mum came in and told her she should probably to go to sleep. She turned off her light but kept her window open so she could carry on watching the snowfall. She didn’t know why, but her eyes kept drifting to the house across the street, until eventually that girls bedroom light went out as well. Then, against her will, Rachel’s eyes slowly began to drift shut.

It was the next day at school when she realised the reason why she hadn’t seen that girl at school before, she had just moved to New York last week from San Juan, in Puerto Rico. Her teacher introduced her as Reyna to the class and chose Rachel to look after her while she settled in. Reyna walked over the spare seat by her. She had piercing black eyes, which made her look slightly intimidating, but the way she was nervously fiddling with her long, black braid made Rachel feel bad for ever thinking she could be scary. Besides, she always loved to make new friends, so when she eventually saw Reyna looking at her she smiled happily, which Reyna returned.

Once Reyna had settled into her new school she started to hang around with Rachel daily. It was a pleasant change because Rachel had never really had a best friend and so she’d always felt like she was just following other people around in her year.

Eventually, they started to meet up outside of school, going round to each other's houses or playing in the street. Every week they would go on a bike ride through the neighbourhood, they weren’t allowed to go too far but it was still fun.

They were quite different. Rachel loved art and always wanted to play games using their imagination, whereas Reyna always enjoyed sports so wanted to do something active. Eventually, they found a compromise, they would pretend to be spies.

* * *

 

When she turned 12 they decided to go on an adventure.

They had just got home from school and were playing on the street in front of their houses, Reyna was on her skateboard and Rachel in her roller skates.

Reyna tried to do another trick, making sure to grab Rachel’s attention first. Rachel wasn’t sure why Reyna cared so much about whether Rachel saw or not, but she had to admit she always enjoyed watching her face light up when she did it right first time.

Rachel rolled her eyes, she had managed to pull it off flawlessly, like always.

“And she sticks the landing,” Rachel says mockingly. Reyna laughed and walked over to where she had sat on the kerb of the road.

“As always,” she smirked smugly, “I always do,”

“Yeah whatever,”

“You’re just a sore loser, now… hand over the sweets,” Reyna gestured by putting the palm of her hand out in front of Rachel’s face. Rachel just ignored her and started to try and get up. “A bets a bet, Dare. Now give me the strawberry laces.”

Reluctantly, Rachel handed them over, but not before opening the packet and making sure to take as many as she could. With a mouthful of sweets, she smirked at her.

Reyna laughed loudly and dropped down to sit next to Rachel and they sat in silence for a few minutes. Reyna didn’t even seem to mind that she kept eating more of the sweets.

“Let’s go to the woods,” She said.

“But we aren’t allowed… we could get caught…” Rachel trailed off uncertainly.

“We’ll be fine.” Reyna insisted, grabbing Rachel’s hand and pulling her up, then she dragged her along with her, picking up her skateboard as she went.

* * *

 

Being dragged along was both easier and harder in roller skates, Rachel decided. On the one hand you just rolled and so there wasn’t much resistance, but on the other you didn’t have much control over the direction you go in. It wasn’t until Reyna had caused her to nearly swerve into countless trees and tripped on several rocks and fallen twigs that she realised it was better to let go.

“You brought your normal shoes in your backpack, right?” She asked.

Rachel nodded, sitting down on the floor to finally change out of her skates.

Once she was done they continued with their hike. The ground was bumpy but it was a lot easier to navigate when she was walking.

“Do you actually know where we are going?” Rachel questioned her, sceptically.

“Of course I do, my family went here for a picnic a while back, there’s an awesome clearing in a minute. It has the coolest lake.” She replied.

Rachel was doubtful, every tree looked the same to her so she had no idea how Reyna knew where she was going, but they’d been best friends for a while now so she trusted her.

After what seemed like a lifetime, just as she was about to suggest they turned back, she heard Reyna exclaim happily from in front of her that they were there.      She hurried up until she ended up in line with her. As soon as she saw it she realised why they were here. It was like a painting. The colours of the trees and wildflowers were so bright and seemed almost fake and the lake sparkled unnaturally in the sunlight. She wished she hadn’t left her pencils and paper at home because she really wanted to draw this; or she could have at least remembered her camera to take a photo, so she could draw it later.

They both immediately took their shoes and socks off and sat by the lake, dangling their feet in the cool water. Luckily the sun was so hot, so the cold water was welcome and refreshing.

They sat there and just talked for a while. The whole time Rachel couldn’t stop staring around her, amazed that something so wonderful was only a short walk from her house but she had never been there before.

It wasn’t until the sun started to set that they noticed how long they had been there for. Rachel decided it was time to get back, and Reyna didn’t argue. They quickly packed up their things and walked home.

Rachel got back just in time for tea, and luckily her parents didn’t interrogate her on where she had been.

* * *

 

Over the years, they continued to meet up constantly. It wasn’t until they were going to be moving on to high school that Rachel was ever worried about her friendship with Reyna. On their last day, they did a pinky promise that they would stick together no matter what.

Unfortunately, their differences meant that they were taking part in different extracurricular clubs. Reyna was the new star of the athletics club, seeing as she was one of the best middle distance runners they had ever seen, and Rachel adored the photography club and the arts club. Over time they saw less of each other outside of school.

Then the next year they weren’t in the same classes anymore so they saw less of each other inside of school as well. Slowly, they drifted apart. It started off that they would hang around with different people, but they still said hi when they saw each other walking home, it was different though somehow, more awkward. Then, by the time they were going into their junior year they no longer spoke at all.

* * *

 

Rachel was 17 when she really needed a friend. She had been in high school nearly four years now and she was starting to get questioned on why she had never had a boyfriend.

“I just want to focus on school work right now, it’s important.” She replied every time.

She wondered why people cared so much anyway. It wasn’t any of their business who she dated and when she dated them.

* * *

 

“So…” Piper Mclean slid into the seat next to her, “Me and Annabeth were talking and we think we’ve found the perfect guy to set you up with. If you’re down for that?”

“I’ve already told you-” Rachel started to reply.

“- We know, you don’t have time for a boyfriend, but seriously Rachel we feel bad. I’m spending more time with Jason, Annabeth is with Percy more. We just don’t want you to feel left out or lonely.”

She looked at her with such a sad expression that Rachel ended up saying yes this time. Maybe she’d actually like him?

* * *

 

It was probably the worst date of all time. She wondered how anyone ever managed to get through a date without feeling sick.

She met the guy in the dingy entrance to their local cinema, and straight away she knew she shouldn’t have come. She felt nervous, really nervous, and not in a good way.

What if he wanted to kiss her but she didn’t want to kiss him? What if he tried to hold her hand?

Millions of questions ran through her head before she ended up running into the bathroom, barging past a group of girls in the same year as her.

She didn’t really remember how she got there but the next time she looked up and took a deep breath she was kneeling with her head over the toilet.

Why was she getting so worked up? This was ridiculous. People went on dates all the time. Why couldn’t she be cool for once?

She gathered all her courage and went to meet the boy outside.

He was cute, she thought. He had nice dark and curly hair and pretty brown eyes, she mused. But he just didn’t seem like her type. Of course, she never had figured out what her type was. It was probably because he was shorter than her, she tried to convince herself, but she had a feeling it was something else. She just didn’t know what.

“Hey,” He smiled enthusiastically at her, “I’m Leo. You’re Rachel, Piper’s friend, right?”

“Yeah,” She smiled back at him, a little less happily though, “shall we go in?”

He nodded and followed her into the small movie theatre.

* * *

 

She avoided talking for most of the time and just listened to him. He had some interesting stories, he’d moved from Texas and his mum was from Mexico, but she struggled to focus on what he was actually saying. In the end she gave up. She figured he probably noticed, but, if he did, he didn’t say anything.

They both went their separate ways when Rachel insisted they got separate buses and that Leo didn’t need to walk her to her door. He got the hint and let her go.

She had just paid the bus driver and chose a window seat near the back of the bus. It was raining outside, which seemed fitting for her mood.

Leo was a really nice guy, a bit lively, but then again she usually was too. She could see why Piper had set them up actually. So why hadn’t she liked him? Why did she always blow boys off when they spoke to her? Why did she always feel so much  more awkward when they tried to flirt with her?

It was probably about then that she started to actually realise, but like she did with everything, she brushed it aside. Just like she’d been doing for the past year. She was just too busy with her schoolwork for a boyfriend right now. Surely?

Sighing, she looked around the bus. There was only one other girl there, one of the ones from the group she’d passed briefly earlier on. She could only see the back of her head, so all she could see was her dark, sleek hair tied back into a low ponytail, but she knew straight away it was Reyna. Only her hair could look so good when it was tied up so messily.

It figured that she would bump into her when she was already in a bad mood. They’d never argued, just drifted apart, but she still felt a slight resentment towards her. She supposed it was because she felt like Reyna hadn’t cared as much about her as she had cared about Reyna.

Reyna must have felt her looking because she turned around and caught her eyes. Immediately, Rachel looked away, feeling awkward to have been caught openly staring.

She spent the rest of the bus journey looking out the window, casting furtive glances at Reyna from the corner of her eyes. She never looked for long enough to realise Reyna kept trying to get eye contact with her again.

* * *

 

They both got off at the same stop, round the corner from her house, but Rachel had expected Reyna to walk off quickly to stop any awkwardness. Instead she waited for her to get off the bus.

“It’s been a while,” She said, looking slightly uneasy.

“Yeah, it has,” Rachel stated bluntly. She started to walk fast, hoping Reyna would leave her alone, but she just jogged to catch up and started to walk besides her again.

“I was wondering how you were? In the cinema today…” She trailed off. Rachel knew she was speaking about her running the toilet though.

“I just wasn’t feeling well, that’s all, I’m fine.” She protested, “Besides, why do you care?”

Reyna just gave her a look, and stopped walking for a second, indicating she should shut up. She stared back defiantly. They held each other’s gaze like that for a few seconds. Rachel wondered what Reyna was thinking, she was never very good with facial expressions, but Reyna’s eyes looked… sad? Maybe she did care about her?

Reyna coughed and looked away awkwardly. Rachel couldn’t help but notice the freckles on her cheek as she turned her head to look forward and carry on walking. Rachel saw her lips curved into a smirk, and couldn’t help but notice how were tinged slightly pink and how cute it was when they stretched slightly to twitch upwards when she smiled. She couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“We’re being stupid. We never even fell out, we just had different interests.” She managed to say in-between the laughter.

“I never really knew why we didn’t stay friends,” Reyna mused.

They reached their houses after a few more minutes, which they walked in comfortable silence this time.

When it was time for them to go their separate ways, Reyna asked her if she wanted to walk with her again, for old times sake. She agreed, smiling again, before turning away to go inside to bed.

She struggled to sleep when all she could think about was how pretty Reyna was now, and how she definitely needed to try harder when picking out her clothes tomorrow.

* * *

 

They walked together for about a month, and they managed to catch each other up on everything that had gone on in their lives. They were almost back to where they used to be, although things did feel a little different now. She decided it was because they were more grown up now.

She found out that Reyna had come out as a lesbian about a year ago, her parents were still a little bit uncomfortable with it but Reyna insisted they were supportive of her. Reyna had never exactly hidden the fact that she was gay anyway, so it was never going to be much of a shock.

She wondered why she felt envious?

* * *

 

It was on Sunday night, when she hadn’t seen Reyna for two days, that she realised the butterflies in her stomach when she thought of Reyna were getting more intense than before.

The nagging feeling in her brain that maybe she had a crush on her was more insistent than ever. She supposed she had distanced herself from Reyna years ago to avoid this feeling, but this time she didn’t want to lose her. She wanted to kiss her. Did that make her gay?

She supposed it did.

She didn’t sleep much that night, and when she did she dreamed she was holding someone’s hand while they ran through the forest, but just as she went to look who it was, she woke up again. She knew whose hand it had been though, they was no one else who could make her feel so much excitement and anxiety at the same time.

* * *

 

Rachel was too sick to go to school the next day. Or at least that was what she told her parents.

They briefly made sure she was okay staying on her own, but Rachel knew that even if she wasn’t they would have to go to work anyway. They were always both so busy. Her dad owned a land development company and her mum worked as an editor for a newspaper.

Her mum was eventually persuaded to tell Reyna she was ill, because Rachel didn’t think she could face seeing her today. Of course her mum just thought she couldn’t get out of bed.

Once everyone had left she got up and went downstairs, deciding to eat junk food and binge watch some random TV show on Netflix for the day.

All day she couldn’t get Reyna out of her mind though. She wondered whether Reyna had missed her today, or if she maybe thought of Rachel the same way.

She knew Reyna was gay, but that didn’t necessarily mean she liked Rachel.

She hoped she did though, even if she didn’t quite know how to deal with these feelings yet.

Google became her best friend about halfway through the day. She read up on almost every lgbt resource she could find, and came to the conclusion that: yes she was gay, and yes she had a crush on her friend.

Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as she thought? She finally had a reason why she never found guys that attractive and why she had always thought she was just ‘more mature’ than her other friends because of it.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t interested in romance at all, she just wasn’t interested in boys.

It was the only thing that made sense. Besides, when she thought about it, girls were really cute. Loving them was fun.

She scrolled down her Tumblr, which she hadn’t touched in years, and found some positivity posts which made her feel better. There were other people just like her,  a whole community of people in fact. It was nice to know she wasn’t alone.

* * *

 

By the end of the day, just before her parents came home, she decided that talking to Reyna was probably a good idea. She was gay too, so even if Rachel’s feelings were unrequited, she could offer her some support.

It would be good to get her feelings out in the open, she supposed, and she wanted to speak with someone who understood.

She hoped Reyna didn’t think she was being creepy, or that she had only reached out to her because she had a crush on her? _Oh god_.

* * *

 

At about eight o’clock she went round to her house. Rachel was an absolute nervous wreck and she struggled to ring the doorbell because of her shaking hands.

Stop it, she told herself, it’s just Reyna.

Just as she was taking a deep breath the door opened to show Reyna, in her pyjama shorts and a thin t-shirt. The t-shirt was thin enough to be able to see Reyna’s black sports bra through it and Rachel had to tear her eyes away to avoid staring.

“Rachel! You look like you’ve seen a ghost? What’s going on?” Reyna had that cute concerned look on her face, where she got frown lines between her eyebrows. Rachel found herself desperately wanting to kiss them away.

She was in too deep, she had to let her feelings out, she had to tell someone. At least she knew Reyna wasn’t straight. The only thing worse than falling in love with your best friend, is falling in love with your straight best friend.

“I was wondering if you wanted to have a movie night?”

“But we have school to-“

“Please?” Rachel tried her best to look as innocent as possible as she interrupted her, already knowing what she was going to say anyway.

Reyna gave in and let her through the door, and Rachel could’ve sworn Reyna looked at her with a softness in her eyes that mirrored her own, but she couldn’t let herself be too hopeful. That, like all hope really, would only lead to disappointment, just like always.

* * *

 

Rachel didn’t know when it happened but she had fallen asleep half way through watching the Devil Wears Prada. They’d seen it a million times before of course, but it was a film they always used to watch when they were still in middle school, so they had decided to continue the tradition.

When she woke up she had to wipe her eyes groggily to rid them of the sleep. As she did that her elbow wacked into something hard.

“OW!” She had hit Reyna’s face, who she lying underneath her with Rachel over her stomach. Reyna was underneath her. She suddenly became hyperaware of all the nerves in her body, and she felt her hair stand on end as Reyna failed to stifle her laughter and ended up laughing right by her ear.

Her senses went into overdrive until it just felt like too much, and she jumped up so quick that she forgot she was right by a coffee table and she ended up falling back again.

Reyna had noticed her discomfort by now, and she moved back to sit on the couch properly, so there was a bit of space between them.

“Why did you suddenly start speaking to me again Rachel?” Reyna was looking at her seriously this time, her arms were crossed and her eyes were narrowed slightly in accusation, her tone was a lot more hostile than Rachel was used to and it almost made her flinch. The truth is she had never wanted to stop being friends with Reyna, it had just been one of those things.

“Because I missed you.” She replied.

“What? So after all this time, all of this time of you avoiding me because I came out as gay and that wasn’t ‘cool’ enough for you, you decide that you miss me?” Reyna spat out.

Rachel looked at her, taken aback by the harshness of the words and what she was saying. Reyna being a lesbian had never been a factor in their friendship ending… it had just been one of those things.. hadn’t it? They had just gradually grown apart. She was sure of it. Why the fuck would Reyna think otherwise? Rachel was furious, to say the least, and opened her mouth to make a cutting remark only to be interrupted.

“I know what you’re going to say, Rachel, save it. I don’t need your pity or excuses. You stopped hanging out with me as I came out as gay. Whether you meant to or not, you abandoned me when I was going through a really tough time.”

Rachel didn’t remember it that way… but she had been the one to get distant, maybe her actions could’ve been misinterpreted. She supposed it might not have been misinterpretation at all, she stopped returning Reyna’s texts, she ignored her.

“I’m sorry.” Rachel said, too tired to argue when she had only just woken up.

Reyna looked at her, startled for a moment, and then just nodded in affirmation.

“Okay.” She replied. Maybe she sensed that Rachel was going through some of her own problems with her sexuality, it wasn’t normally like Reyna to back down so easily. Especially considering she was well within her rights to be annoyed. Rachel supposed that now was a better time than any to say what she came here to say, but as soon as she decided to speak her mouth went dry and she couldn’t remember how she ever said words normally, so they sat in silence for a bit longer.

The clock on the wall of the lounge was ticking above them. Rachel counted to 300 before she finally burst, the silence suffocating them.

 “I think I’m gay.” Rachel said, “Like you.. I mean, I think I’m gay too.”

“Oh?” Reyna raised an eyebrow, not in a knowing way, but not necessarily surprised either. “When did you figure that out?”

“Over the last few months. Since I realised that I always get nervous around you now, and that its because I have a bit of crush on you.”

That got a surprised look as Reyna raised her eyebrows again. Rachel was always a little abrupt, so maybe she could have eased that part in a bit more gradually, but she figured she may as well get to the point.

Rachel watched Reyna closely as she moved closer to her on the sofa until their faces were very close.

“I think… well I know, that I have a crush on you too.” Reyna said before leaning in to kiss Rachel.

Rachel had spent so much time focusing on the way Reyna looked and how much she liked her that she had never fully considered what kissing her would be like, but if she had she never would have guessed it would be as good as this. It was over pretty quick and they both needed to brush their teeth after falling asleep, but it was still the best few seconds of Rachels life so far. The thought that kept overshadowing all the others was that she definitely wouldn’t mind doing that again.

“Let’s try dating?” Reyna questioned.

“Sure.” Rachel said with a small smirk forming on her lips.

Yeah, Rachel was undeniably gay, and the girl she had a crush on liked her back, so she supposed that even though there were so many obstacles to overcome, life has a funny way of making things work out. And, she was definitely going to take Reyna to the skatepark after school tomorrow as a first date. They had so many years to make up for the time they spent apart.

* * *

 

_“I’ll be taking my time, spending my life, falling deeper in love with you”_

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!!


End file.
